Joker X Carnage
by Fandom Cultures
Summary: What if two of the most psychotic supervillains became one? Pure chaos and carnage!
1. Joke’s On You

A man enters a bank. He is dressed in a classy business suit with a suitcase. He is wearing glasses and a tie. He rings the bell at the counter to alert a worker. A female worker comes and greets him.

"Hello, sir. How may I help you?"

"Yes I am here for a withdrawal."

"Name and ID?"

"Jack Napier. Here's my card."

Jack hands him a card.

"Alright if you would just follow me please."

The lady walks "Jack" to a private room with a desk and chairs.

"Take a seat," the lady says.

Jack sits in a chair.

"So in order to make a withdrawal, I need to look at your bank account."

The bank worker gets on a computer and starts looking up Jack Napier's bank account.

"You have no money in your account, sir. Is this a joke?"

Jack gets up from his chair and pulls out a pistol and points it at the lady's forehead. He starts grinning

"I will as soon as you load up my bags!" Jack yells.

"Bags?" The worker asks, confused.

Suddenly a car crashes through the walls of the bank. 2 guys get out of the car holding large bags and machine guns.

"Alright listen up! We don't want to kill anyone so fill these bags up and there won't be any trouble!"

Meanwhile back in the room, Jack puts the pistol away. The bank worker sighs in relief. Suddenly Jack pulls out a knife. He grabs the lady by her throat and begins stabbing her repeatedly. Blood dipped to the floor. After 15 times, Jack throws the lifeless body to the floor landing face first. He puts the knife away and pulls out a napkin from his jacket to wipe his face of the blood. As he is wiping his face, he reveals white pale skin underneath. He opens his suitcase revealing a purple suit and gadgets. He heads toward the exit of the room. Suddenly he stops and turns around to the dead body.

"Pleasure doing business with you!" He yells laughing.

Joker walks out into the hall. A bank guard tries to stop him but Joker sprays something into his face and he falls to the ground laughing. He walks up to one of the goons who is loading the bags.

"We are almost done, boss. So when do we get out of here?"

"We? Who said anything about "we?"

Joker immediately gets into the car and drives away. His goons try to run after him but he puts the car to full throttle and drives off. Suddenly he pulls out a remote and presses a button.

"Boom," He whispers.

The whole bank blows up and Joker laughs as he drives away.

"That's one way to go out with a bang!"


	2. Nice Day at The Diner

In a Gotham Café elsewhere...

Cletus Kassidy is driving in a red sports car. He almost crashed into another car.

"Watch where you're driving a*hole!"

Kassidy pulls out a pistol, turns around and shoots the car. The bullet flies through the window and hits the man in the head. The car goes veering off the road and flies off a bridge.

"That was awesome!" Kassidy tells himself.

Kassidy arrives at a diner. A waiter brings him to a table. He pulls out a newspaper. He finds an article about the Joker.

"What an interesting fellow. Imagine if we teamed up? The chaos we could spread?"

"Keep dreaming Kassidy," Carnage says.

A waitress comes to Kassidy's table.

"Is there anything I can get you?"

Kassidy looks up at the waitress and grins. His teeth turn into fangs. The waitress becomes distressed. Kassidy quickly gets up from the table and grabs the waitress by her throat .

"Yes! You can give me your f*ing blood!"

Kassidy's hand turns into a red tendril that transforms into an axe. He slices the waitress' throat. The waitress falls to the ground. She looks up at the man.

"Who are you?"

Kassidy grins a psychotic grin.

"Just call me CARNAGE!!!"

Kassidy transforms into his Symbiote form and begins slicing up the waitress. He laughs during each slice.

"Cut cut cut!" He yells.

When he finally stops slicing he looks around. The whole diner is silent. One guy runs to the restroom.

"This is place is so dead! Let's make it even more dead!" Carnage yells.

Carnage reaches out his arms and grabs random people stabbing them. He shoots spears from his body stabbing people. Tendrils also sprout from his body grabbing people and ripping them apart. Blood covers the whole entire floor as well as the walls. He webs up all of the dead bodies to the wall.

"That was fun!"

Suddenly Carnage hears police sirens.

"Better scram!"

Carnage escapes through the back of the diner and changes into a new disguise. As he is walking through the alley he pulls out he newspaper he was reading earlier.

"Let's find this Joker!"


	3. Becoming Acquainted

At Ace Chemicals, Joker returns from the bank robbery. He gets out of the car.

"So how did the heist go? Where are the others?" One goon asks.

Joker pulls out his gun and shoots him in the head. His lifeless body hits the ground.

"I hate being asked questions!" Joker mutters.

He sits down in a chair and begins to think.

"Things haven't been the same since Harley left," he says.

"Maybe you just need a new partner," a voice says.

"Who said that?" Joker asks.

He turns around and sees a man standing at the doorway.

"Who are you?"

Cletus runs up to Joker and grabs him by the hand.

"Cletus Kassidy and I must say that I am a huge fan of your work! I have read about nearly all of your exploits!"

"Flattered! Now tell me what you want before I do something horrible!"

"Oh I love doing horrible things to people! It's my specialty. When I was young I pushed a girl who refused to date me in front of a moving bus."

"That's funny! Talk about getting thrown under the bus! So what can you do? You're just a normal guy."

Kassidy smiles.

"Am I?" He says, transforming into Carnage.

"Are you some sort of shapeshifter?"

"No, I am Carnage. In my human form I am Cletus Kassidy but in this form I am Carnage. I want to form a partnership with you."

"Not interested," Joker says.

"Come on man! Just imagine what we can do! The destruction! The mayhem! The chaos! We will be unstoppable!"

Joker thinks for a moment and he finally smiles.

"Sounds lovely! But what's in it for you?" He asks

"For me? Just good old-fashioned mayhem and destruction!" Carnage says, laughing.

Carnage holds out his hand.

"So partners?"

Joker grabs his hand.

"Partners!"

Suddenly Joker's hand starts electrocuting Carnage.

"Arrrgh!"

He lets go of Joker's hand.

"What was that for?"

"It's just a prank!"

Joker starts laughing and Carnage starts laughing with him.


	4. Closer Than Ever

Carnage and Joker go and sit down at a table.

"If we're going to work together, we need to establish some rules," Joker says.

"Well I actually have something to confess," Carnage says.

"Which is?"

"When I said I wanted us to be partners, I actually meant something more."

"What do you mean?" Joker asks, confused.

Suddenly tendrils inside Carnage grab Kassidy and throw him out and webs him against the wall.

"Wait! What are you doing?! I thought we were meant for each other!" Kassidy yells, shocked.

"What the hell is going on?!" Joker asks.

The Carnage Symbiote rushes toward Joker and covers him. Joker becomes enveloped with the Symbiote.

"Stop struggling! Oh I can feel it all! The insanity! The emotions! The rage! It's so delicious!"

"Get off of me!"

"Just listen for a minute! I have been searching for a new host for a while and you're the perfect choice!"

"Why me?!"

"Just imagine Joker. I can give you abilities that beyond your wildest dreams! With your insane and brilliant mind and my abilities, just imagine what we can do as one! Also, I have the memories and personality of Kassidy!"

Joker looks at his hand which turns into an axe. He smiles sinisterly.

"I think I might like this!" Joker says.

"That's the spirit! Now what is our new name?" Carnage says

"How about JokeCarnage?" Joker asks.

"I like the sound of that!" Carnage says.

"Wait! Before we begin, I have an idea."

JokeCarnage grabs a couple of canisters containing Joker Gas and Joker venom. He drops the canisters into his mouth.

"Now we can project Joker Venom and Joker Gas," Joker says.

"I cannot wait to begin!" Carnage yells.

JokeCarnage starts laughing. He takes some of his gadgets such as the electric buzzer and acid flower. He also grabs a couple of remotely triggered bombs.


	5. Murder and Mayhem

Climbing to the top of a building, JokeCarnage look down. He leaps off the building and starts falling to the ground. Suddenly red tendrils shoot from his shoulders and latch onto buildings swinging him.

"This is so much fun!" Joker says.

JokeCarnage keeps swinging until he lands on a rooftop.

"So what do you want to do now?"

Suddenly they hear a little boy crying for help. They look and spot the boy standing next to a tree. They jump off the building and walk up to the boy.

"What's wrong little boy?" JokeCarnage says trying to imitate how a superhero sounds.

"My cat is stuck in the tree. Can you get him down?"

JokeCarnage looks up at the cat. He shoots his tendrils at the cat, grabs it, and brings it down.

"Thank you Mister!"

JokeCarnage smiles sinisterly. His hand turns into a dagger. He swings it and the cat's head falls to the ground and rolls toward the boy's feet. He gives the rest of the cat to the boy who is in disbelief. He runs inside crying.

"So ungrateful!"

He swings around finding places to cause mayhem. He heads into the Gotham Bank and kills nearly everyone inside. Then he takes all of the money and burns it.

"Everything burns!" He yells

Next, he heads to a fancy diner. A host tries to stop him but he stabs him and impales him to the doorway with a dagger from the Symbiote. He heads into the diner and speaks through a microphone.

"May I have your attention! Your meal is interrupted due to mass murder and chaos! Enjoy!"

Everyone runs around trying to escape. However, JokeCarnage keeps the doors shut with webbing. He grabs a man by his collar.

"You rich people think you can make all of this money and never have to pay for it!"

He ties all of them to a chair and shows pictures of their money getting burned. They cry out in disbelief.

"This is too funny!"

Next, JokeCarnage breaks into a home and kills the husband and wife while their daughter is at school. When the daughter returns from school, she finds her parents lying in bed. At first she thinks they are asleep. She takes off the covers revealing blood covering her parents' bodies. Suddenly their eyeballs roll out of their sockets. She screams at a high pitch. JokeCarnage laughs and sprays Joker Gas from his mouth into the room before leaving.

"Now what should I do next?"

He looks at a hospital and grins.

"I am going to have some fun!"


	6. Hospital Massacre

He heads toward the hospital. He grabs a patient walking away from the hospital and slices him to pieces.

"Slice and dice! Slice and dice!" He keeps yelling as he slices the man into little pieces

He walks through the doors of the hospital and grins. Everyone stares at him. He just looks around.

"This place is really dead!" Time to "liven" it up!" JokeCarnage crackles.

Everyone starts screaming and attempting to run away. JokeCarnage stretches his arms, grabs several nurses, and webs them up. He turns his hand into an axe and walks around, slicing people left and right.

"And they say I am crazy," Joker says.

When he finally stops, they look around at all of the bodies on the floor and the blood decorated on the walls.

"Now this is true art!" Joker sneers.

As he is walking through the hospital he plants several bombs in the hospital. He walks into a room full of newborn babies.

"Ah how cute!"

He picks up one of the babies and holds it in his hands.

"Who's a good boy?"

"MY BABY!!!" A mother screams.

"This is your baby? Catch!" JokeCarnage says.

He throws the baby at the mother knocking her out. He walks out of the room and heads upstairs. He keeps killing doctors and patients walking past him. Suddenly he comes upon a room. He finds a woman laying on a bed attached to a life support system.

"How peaceful?" JokeCarnage says laughing quietly.

He grabs the wires and rips them off the life support system causing her to die slowly.

"Sweet dreams."

He continues walking and pulls out a device that tracks the time of the explosion.

"I should probably leave."

JokeCarnage runs toward a window and jumps out. He stands on the top of a building and prepares for the fireworks. However, nothing happens.

"Why didn't the bombs explode?" He asks himself.

JokeCarnage thinks about what went wrong. Suddenly he spots a figure leaving the hospital. He recognizes the silhouette.

"Why does he always ruin our fun?"


End file.
